Filling in the space

Just filling in some spaces on this very empty looking forum topic
I love these as they just make me lol

•When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

• Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

• Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
• Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

• There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

• Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

• Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

• Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

• Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

• Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

• Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

• Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

• Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
• When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

• Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

• Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

• There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

• When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

• Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

• A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

When it rains Chuck Norris doesn't get wet... the rain gets Chuck Norris'd

Chuck Norris doesn't dodge bullets.... bullets dodge Chuck Norris out of fear

Chuck Norris doesn't write books... books type themself out of fear

In a race to the edge of the universe who would win .. Super Man or the Flash? Chuck Norris


Any body got any more???